How Do We Break the Cycle of Trans-generational Transgression?

Most are not aware of the soul crimes of their ancestors.  These betrayals remain unknown, as they are passed unconsciously through the generations.

But some are more sensitive by nature, and feel these wrongs as violations.  They question the source of this poison infecting them, since its source feels external to them.  As unnamed traumas begin to contaminate these sensitive types, they perceive a grave error, dissonant from their sense-of-self.  This discernment can begin in early childhood.

If the sensitive child is not crushed by the emotional limits of his parents, he distances himself from the traumas leaking through mother and father and begins a survival strategy.  He steps aside from the emotional constriction of his caretakers and creates a secret world.  In this private world, he preserves what is best in him.  From this protected place, he observes those in his family and world who would destroy his original impulses and authenticity and holds on to these treasures at all costs.  His devotion is not to mother and father or social propriety, but to these rare gifts at his core.

If the child persists in this self-preservation into adulthood, he will succeed in establishing a true identity, separate from the disguised cruelty of normalcy.  In so doing, he breaks the cycle of trans-generational transgression and a new way of being, consonant with truth and nature, begins.

Love Changes the Rules

Love enters our being through the heart.  Love is a powerful force which compels us to grow beyond the limits of our upbringing.  Once away from our unconscious families, we are safe to heal our traumatic history and integrate our fragmented self into a whole person.  This integration is the marriage within, in which our human nature weds our higher nature; our instincts wed our ideals.  We become a whole person at last, at one with it all.

Most profoundly, this integration of the self changes the rules.  It generates a paradigm shift, a redefinition of what it means to be human.  No longer ruled by trauma like Homo sapiens, we become a new species, Homo veritas, ruled by truth under love’s authority.  With our new status, we change the world, simply because we have changed ourselves.

If we refuse this integration, with intractable trauma constricting the heart and preventing love’s entry and circulation, we will experience a crisis.  The blocked vitality of love energy accumulates into a torrent of force that breaks down our defensive walls and makes us vulnerable to change.  The false self perceives this breakdown as a tragedy.  The true self sees this breakdown as a breakthrough, a liberating invitation to authentic living.  If we resist growing throughout our lifetime, crises will emerge at each stage of the life cycle.  The most noted is the midlife crisis.

If we defy these crises collectively, they become a global catastrophe.  Individual dysfunction, multiplied exponentially, becomes burgeoning populations of troubled, violent masses which the planet cannot sustain.  Sad and shocking, this describes our world.

It is wise to open our hearts and let love transform us into a new species that instead of destroying life—sustains life.

The New Way

As economic and ecological collapse looms in our world, we humans must embrace a necessary transition.  We must evolve from outer to inner definition.  This is the new way.  This alone will save our planet home from desolation and our species from extinction.  To be part of this timely change, here are some suggestions.

Do’s

Do inner work                         Grieve and heal childhood trauma; free yourself to be real.

Stay single                               Stay with yourself, find yourself, love yourself—find your singular purpose as defined from within and contribute this needed gift to the world.

Live vertical                            Grow up and out of trauma-based, conventional concerns and into universal purpose.

Manifest gifts                          Develop and give your personal gifts to serve the world.

Live your dream                      Life planted aspirations in you—embody them.  They will fulfill you and help many.

Evolve                                     Align with nature and truth in order to evolve consciousness to the next level.

Be humble                               Humble means teachable.  Life rewards and uses the humble, teaching them the path of fulfilled living which will serve our evolving planet

Be you                                     You are an original and here for a purpose that only you can fulfill.  Do this by being you and meet your deepest responsibility as a human being.

Trust                                        Truth and nature are stronger than human error and are your allies.  Truth and nature protect all life including yours.  Fear not—truth and nature are stronger.

 

Don’ts

Don’t get caught in drama      The distractions of conventional living are fraught with distracting conflicts that can divert you from your primary purpose of growing up and upward into universal purpose.

Don’t have children               The world is crowded and crazy.  Having children when you are unhealed abuses them, thwarts your growth and puts more stress and pollution into the world. Give birth to your true self instead.

Don’t get married                   The marriage you need is within.  Once freed of trauma, your instincts (your animal nature) can wed your ideals (your higher nature) and you become an integrated person—and a person of integrity.

Don’t get trapped                   Don’t get trapped in the limits of your family and culture.  Remember, you belong to truth and the grandeur of nature.

Don’t listen to noise                Don’t listen to the frightening noise of the world—listen to the quiet, reassuring voice of truth at your core.  All is well and so are you.

A Must Do

Live right—fear nothing.

These ideas are more fully explored in my book Field Guide to a New Species—a new sustainable way to be human. http://visionaryman.net/field-guide-to-a-new-species/

A New Time Begins Today

Today is the first day of a New Year—and a new time in our lives.  There is excitement in the air, for the gift we receive today is time—a new day, a new year, another chance to heal and grow.  Time is the medium of evolution allowing the unfolding of life’s purpose.  The days of this New Year, used consciously, will awaken our purpose and lead to our enlightenment.

Time used constructively heals the wounds that would crush our life’s expression.

Time used mindfully carries us like a mighty river to our depth.

Time used consciously transforms life experience into wisdom and illumination.

No wonder we’re excited at the prospects of this New Year and its gift of time.

It takes time to heal.  We must proceed slowly, day by day, unraveling the damage that confounds the full expression of our identity.  Our wounds run deep for they were inflicted practically from our first breath.  The painstaking work of loving all the lost parts of ourselves back to life, vitality, and full expression must be done slowly, day by day, throughout this bright New Year.

Today we begin the journey back to our self and to truth.  We take the hand of our frightened inner child who was shamed into believing it was of little value and hold this child in our care and protection.  We comfort this terrified child, buried within us, who hid for safe-keeping until this very moment.  We open the prison gates with our love and breathe life into this forgotten existence.

Today we begin a sacred journey through a New Year.  Slowly, through the days of this new time, we develop our dishonored child into the fulfilled adult that life intended.

This bright New Year with gratitude, humility and love, I begin a new time in my life.

Born Better

Some of us are born better.  We have more light and more fight.

We must accept this gift with gratitude and humility. We must also realize that this privilege carries a terrible responsibility.  We must leave the comforts of convention, often including our families of origin and their limited ways, to develop, embody and share our gift.

But what do I mean by better?

I mean more conscious.  This increased capacity for self-awareness, truth awareness, is a gift from nature and evolution.  Additional gifts are our motivation to embody and share this gift and our willingness to be in an environment that supports and can use our unusual ability.

Talent is not what I’m talking about.  Many are extremely gifted in the arts or science or business or politics.  Some are brilliant entrepreneurs and earn huge sums.  Yet in terms of consciousness and self-knowing, truth-knowing, they are not gifted at all.

If you are born better, don’t be shy.  Instead thank life for this gift and use it in this troubled world to change it for the better.  Remember, change starts from the imagination of an inspired few.

The Therapist/Client Relationship

The relationship between a therapist and client is a professional and unequal relationship.  It is highly personal for the client and not so for the therapist.

The client reveals secrets and highly personal and private details of their life experience and childhood; the therapist maintains boundaries and self-discloses carefully if at all. The client needs re-parenting; the therapist is the parental surrogate. The client needs to be emotionally held as children do; the therapist does the holding.  The client needs to be seen, heard and witnessed; the therapist sees, hears and witnesses.  The client presents issues; the therapist assesses these issues and offers interpretations of them that often connect to childhood history and trauma.  The client is the student; the therapist is the teacher and can confront and guide the client into a deeper understanding of self.  The client works to a deeper insight into self and behavior; the therapist facilitates this growth.  The client grows, stays stuck or quits; the therapist lives separately from the client and though saddened if a client is stuck or quits realizes this is a choice of the client.  The therapist may be influenced by the client’s issues and growth, but ideally remains detached from them.  The therapist realizes as much as they root for the client, it is up to the client to do the work and grow.  The therapist has a separate life that should be of more interest to the therapist than the life of the client.  The therapist continues to work on his/her issues to be of value to the client.

What makes a good therapist?

Good therapists have healed their own childhood issues and have evolved into enlightened adulthood.  They have done the most profound inner work of all—they have healed their ancient childhood wounds.  They have evolved into their true selves and work to manifest their gifts. They are universal beings and belong to life, nature and truth—not the limits of their upbringing or culture.  Living out of their true selves allows them to interact with the client in a genuine and generous manner, since they understand human dynamics and defenses from a healed and universal perspective.  They also empathize with the client since they have suffered similar traumas but have healed them which offers the client hope.  These enlightened therapists are living examples of what a healed and manifested life is, since they practice what they preach.  They know the theories and sound practices established in the conventional canon of human psychology and spirituality, but their greatest strength is the living example of their healed lives and the gifts and joy in living these enlightened therapists embody and manifest. Good therapists teach their clients self-therapy and work to get the client out of treatment and on their own.  Good therapists will not abandon their clients, but be there as long as needed, but overall want their clients to grow up, leave treatment and be on their own.

What makes a bad therapist?

Bad therapists have not healed their childhood wounds.  They practice from learned theories and not from healed and enlightened living.  Bad therapists are like bad parents and exploit their client for their own needs, enjoying the power they hold over the client.  Bad therapists withhold love and understanding and manipulate the client to fulfill their own unmet needs from childhood.   Bad therapists induce dependency relationships in the client and misuse the power they hold over the client as their own parents misused their power over them.  These bad therapists cannot teach or lead by example because they are not genuine, enlightened people themselves.  Often they resent the growth in the client because it points out how stuck and emotional dead they are themselves.  They keep the client infantilized, withholding approval and endorsement of the clients strengths so that the client will remain a dependent “child” and not abandon the “adult” therapist.  Also, with a dependent client, the therapist insures an income flow no matter how unethical this may be.

I Wanted to Change the World

Like many of us, I wanted to change the world.  But my best efforts seemed irrelevant as the steamroller of average people’s destructive living plowed through, almost taking me with it.  Then I had a revelation:  that despite this troubled world, I had grown—evolved.  I had changed.

As a Seeker, I was different—more self-aware, more profoundly human, more accurately me.  And this brought me to my second revelation:  that since I had changed, the world had changed too.  When you and I change, the world changes—and it only takes a few to set new ways in motion.

Why Humanity is Sacred

Our humanity is sacred because of our capacity to interface with truth.

Our true self is that juncture where our human limits interface with the expansiveness of truth.  This juncture is not just a connection with the collective unconscious, the combined, generational experiences of our common humanity that has also settled into our cellular knowing.  Our sacred self is greater than this.

At our core, we connect with something deeper and more profound than human experience—we interface with truth.  The site of this intersection of humanity and truth is sacred—it is our true self, our sacred self.

The Propensity for Violence in the Unhealed

People who have not healed their wounds of childhood have a propensity for violence—and live looking for a fight.  From bickering with a partner to self-destructive behavior to squabbles at work to outright international warfare, all violence stems from adults who have not addressed the wounded child within and instead seek revenge outside.

Only adults who have confronted our parents—either face-to-face, or more essentially, within our psyches—and resolved our childhood rage can approach conflict in a mature manner.  Continue reading

From Homo sapiens to Homo veritas

Currently humanity is undergoing a profound transition.  Our old way of being human, Homo sapiens, is not sustainable.  Ruled by trauma, not truth, Homo sapiens are not capable of acting in their best interest and will self-destruct.

But nature will answer this crisis as it has in the past through the mystery of evolution and a new species is emerging, Homo veritas.  This new species is ruled not by trauma, but by truth.

The 4 types of humans on earth now are as follows.

Homo sapiens are the most populace and are not sustainable.  They number in the billions.  They are ruled by trauma, not truth, and lead destructive lives.

There are 2 transitional types: Rebels and Seekers.  Rebels abhor the destructive ways of the average, but in their reactivity do not envision a new way.  Seekers also see the destructive ways of the norm, but become proactive in healing their traumatic past in order to find a new way.

Finally the new type of human is Homo veritas, ruled by truth, not trauma.  They are the next step in human evolution.  They are sustainable and the hope of the future.

These ideas are more fully explored in my book Field Guide to a New Species—a new, sustainable way to be human.