What Is Your Passion?

I often ask others, “What is your passion?  What makes you tick?  What are you living for in the deepest sense?  What inspires you to go forward?”  Secretly, I’m hoping to discover my own passion, purpose and reason for being.

So I mused on this quietly for a while and this is what came to me.

My passion, my deepest purpose, my reason for being is to grow, to evolve, to become more conscious.  Ultimately I want to become at one with life and its mystery.

But at times, this passionate purpose can seem hard to define and hard to measure.

In the past, my passion and purpose were more quantifiable.  I wanted a love partner and success in my career.  I wanted to work and support myself in a meaningful and abundant way.  I wanted my parents to see me and love me at last.  Some of these goals I accomplished.  Some were impossible.  But win or lose, these were tangible goals.  But now I realize that they were secondary to my primary goal.

Now I see that underneath and running through all life goals, with their victories and defeats, was a deeper quest.  My passion was to tap into the river of meaning that flows through all of reality and through each age-appropriate quest in life.

The quest to become consonant with life’s meaning is my primary passion and always was, even with other secondary, more concrete goals.

Now I see what my passion is:  to answer the questions of life and solve the mystery of existence through my living and doing.  My passion is to become fully conscious and consonant with truth.  Other goals, though necessary in our lives, are secondary to this primary purpose.  Now this perspective guides my daily living, loving and doing.

I’m grateful to have solved this riddle of existence which represents a mutation in self-understanding.  As I strive to become consonant with truth, my daily living becomes sacred.

Born Better

Some of us are born better.  We have more light and more fight.

We must accept this gift with gratitude and humility. We must also realize that this privilege carries a terrible responsibility.  We must leave the comforts of convention, often including our families of origin and their limited ways, to develop, embody and share our gift.

But what do I mean by better?

I mean more conscious.  This increased capacity for self-awareness, truth awareness, is a gift from nature and evolution.  Additional gifts are our motivation to embody and share this gift and our willingness to be in an environment that supports and can use our unusual ability.

Talent is not what I’m talking about.  Many are extremely gifted in the arts or science or business or politics.  Some are brilliant entrepreneurs and earn huge sums.  Yet in terms of consciousness and self-knowing, truth-knowing, they are not gifted at all.

If you are born better, don’t be shy.  Instead thank life for this gift and use it in this troubled world to change it for the better.  Remember, change starts from the imagination of an inspired few.

Who Do We Belong To?

We belong to ourselves.  We must remember if we are to be real and true, we belong to ourselves, to nature and to truth—not the limits of our upbringing.

Despite the common thinking of the world that argues we belong to our parents, our families, our culture and its values and traditions, this is not true.  We do not belong to limited people or systems that would confine our growth and damage our spirit.  We belong to ourselves and to universal principle and must leave the limits of our upbringing to live true.

But there is a struggle.

There is great pressure from our families and the conventional world to stay behind and honor mother and father and their world no matter how limited, dysfunctional or cruel and it takes an unusually gifted soul to leave it.  We were born into this world and our departure has a heartbreaking aspect to it since it is hard to see the failures of our first loves, mother and father and face the limits of our culture of origin.

Those who did not have the courage to leave will always resent those who do.  In fact those who stay behind will work hard to shame, guilt, withhold love and even shun those who escape the snares of a closed, cultist family system.  This is a sad and cruel manipulation.  Those who stay behind see those who leave as a threatening reminder of what they failed to do—become themselves, true people.  The free spirit of those who left reveals the closed prison of those who took the easier path of conformity and stayed behind.

But the troubling manipulations of the family to return to their world do not work.  Those who have tasted freedom and belong to life and its mystery do not return to the prison of safety and convention.  Rather these free spirits soar to higher realms of consciousness and wonder, unknown to the average.

The Therapist/Client Relationship

The relationship between a therapist and client is a professional and unequal relationship.  It is highly personal for the client and not so for the therapist.

The client reveals secrets and highly personal and private details of their life experience and childhood; the therapist maintains boundaries and self-discloses carefully if at all. The client needs re-parenting; the therapist is the parental surrogate. The client needs to be emotionally held as children do; the therapist does the holding.  The client needs to be seen, heard and witnessed; the therapist sees, hears and witnesses.  The client presents issues; the therapist assesses these issues and offers interpretations of them that often connect to childhood history and trauma.  The client is the student; the therapist is the teacher and can confront and guide the client into a deeper understanding of self.  The client works to a deeper insight into self and behavior; the therapist facilitates this growth.  The client grows, stays stuck or quits; the therapist lives separately from the client and though saddened if a client is stuck or quits realizes this is a choice of the client.  The therapist may be influenced by the client’s issues and growth, but ideally remains detached from them.  The therapist realizes as much as they root for the client, it is up to the client to do the work and grow.  The therapist has a separate life that should be of more interest to the therapist than the life of the client.  The therapist continues to work on his/her issues to be of value to the client.

What makes a good therapist?

Good therapists have healed their own childhood issues and have evolved into enlightened adulthood.  They have done the most profound inner work of all—they have healed their ancient childhood wounds.  They have evolved into their true selves and work to manifest their gifts. They are universal beings and belong to life, nature and truth—not the limits of their upbringing or culture.  Living out of their true selves allows them to interact with the client in a genuine and generous manner, since they understand human dynamics and defenses from a healed and universal perspective.  They also empathize with the client since they have suffered similar traumas but have healed them which offers the client hope.  These enlightened therapists are living examples of what a healed and manifested life is, since they practice what they preach.  They know the theories and sound practices established in the conventional canon of human psychology and spirituality, but their greatest strength is the living example of their healed lives and the gifts and joy in living these enlightened therapists embody and manifest. Good therapists teach their clients self-therapy and work to get the client out of treatment and on their own.  Good therapists will not abandon their clients, but be there as long as needed, but overall want their clients to grow up, leave treatment and be on their own.

What makes a bad therapist?

Bad therapists have not healed their childhood wounds.  They practice from learned theories and not from healed and enlightened living.  Bad therapists are like bad parents and exploit their client for their own needs, enjoying the power they hold over the client.  Bad therapists withhold love and understanding and manipulate the client to fulfill their own unmet needs from childhood.   Bad therapists induce dependency relationships in the client and misuse the power they hold over the client as their own parents misused their power over them.  These bad therapists cannot teach or lead by example because they are not genuine, enlightened people themselves.  Often they resent the growth in the client because it points out how stuck and emotional dead they are themselves.  They keep the client infantilized, withholding approval and endorsement of the clients strengths so that the client will remain a dependent “child” and not abandon the “adult” therapist.  Also, with a dependent client, the therapist insures an income flow no matter how unethical this may be.

Who Do We Belong to?

We belong to ourselves.  We must remember this if we are to be real and true—we belong to ourselves, to nature and to truth, not the limits of our upbringing.

Despite the common thinking of the world that argues we belong to our parents, our families, our culture and their values and traditions, this is not true.  We do not belong to limited people or systems that would confine our growth and damage our spirit.

We belong to ourselves and to universal principle and must leave the limits of our upbringing to live true.  But there is a struggle.

There is great pressure from our families and conventional thinking to stay behind and honor mother and father and their world no matter how limited, dysfunctional or cruel and it takes an unusually gifted soul to leave.  We were born into this world of our parents and our departure has a heartbreaking aspect to it, since it is hard to see the failures of our first loves, mother and father, and face the limits of our culture of origin.

Those who didn’t have the courage to leave will always resent those who did.    In fact those who stay behind will work hard to shame, guilt, withhold love and even shun those who escape the snares of a closed, cultist family system.  This is a sad and cruel manipulation.  Those who stay behind see those who leave as a threatening reminder of what they failed to do—become themselves, true people.  The free spirit of those who left reveals the closed prison of those who took the easier path of conformity and stayed behind.

But the troubling manipulations of the family to return to their world do not work.  Those who have tasted freedom and belong to life and its mystery do not return to the prison of safety and convention.  Rather these free spirits soar to higher realms of consciousness and wonder, unknown to the average.

I Wanted to Change the World

Like many of us, I wanted to change the world.  But my best efforts seemed irrelevant as the steamroller of average people’s destructive living plowed through, almost taking me with it.  Then I had a revelation:  that despite this troubled world, I had grown—evolved.  I had changed.

As a Seeker, I was different—more self-aware, more profoundly human, more accurately me.  And this brought me to my second revelation:  that since I had changed, the world had changed too.  When you and I change, the world changes—and it only takes a few to set new ways in motion.

Why Humanity is Sacred

Our humanity is sacred because of our capacity to interface with truth.

Our true self is that juncture where our human limits interface with the expansiveness of truth.  This juncture is not just a connection with the collective unconscious, the combined, generational experiences of our common humanity that has also settled into our cellular knowing.  Our sacred self is greater than this.

At our core, we connect with something deeper and more profound than human experience—we interface with truth.  The site of this intersection of humanity and truth is sacred—it is our true self, our sacred self.

The Propensity for Violence in the Unhealed

People who have not healed their wounds of childhood have a propensity for violence—and live looking for a fight.  From bickering with a partner to self-destructive behavior to squabbles at work to outright international warfare, all violence stems from adults who have not addressed the wounded child within and instead seek revenge outside.

Only adults who have confronted our parents—either face-to-face, or more essentially, within our psyches—and resolved our childhood rage can approach conflict in a mature manner.  Continue reading

From Homo sapiens to Homo veritas

Currently humanity is undergoing a profound transition.  Our old way of being human, Homo sapiens, is not sustainable.  Ruled by trauma, not truth, Homo sapiens are not capable of acting in their best interest and will self-destruct.

But nature will answer this crisis as it has in the past through the mystery of evolution and a new species is emerging, Homo veritas.  This new species is ruled not by trauma, but by truth.

The 4 types of humans on earth now are as follows.

Homo sapiens are the most populace and are not sustainable.  They number in the billions.  They are ruled by trauma, not truth, and lead destructive lives.

There are 2 transitional types: Rebels and Seekers.  Rebels abhor the destructive ways of the average, but in their reactivity do not envision a new way.  Seekers also see the destructive ways of the norm, but become proactive in healing their traumatic past in order to find a new way.

Finally the new type of human is Homo veritas, ruled by truth, not trauma.  They are the next step in human evolution.  They are sustainable and the hope of the future.

These ideas are more fully explored in my book Field Guide to a New Species—a new, sustainable way to be human.

The Lonely Path

The transition from outer definition to inner truth is a lonely path.

We must leave much behind—including conventional friends and limited family members.  We must also leave behind old definitions of self, constructed and endorsed by the culture.  This too is a great loss.

As outgrown, external structure collapses, out inner structure has a chance to emerge.  But this inner structure is tested to be true.  Can it hold our developing and authentic, sense of self?  Can we shun the noise of the world and its claims of authority in our lives to listen to the subtle voice of truth at our core?  Can we stake our claim in an internal identity, apart from the seductive allure of the external world and the majority that conforms to it?  Can we live from within as the outer world shouts its outrage at our defiance of its supremacy?

It takes great courage to live from within and out of our core of truth.  And the transition from outer definition to inner truth is a lonely path that few travel. That’s why it’s good to listen in quiet reflection to the voice of truth that whispers encouraging words and reassuring support that we are actually not alone at all—but surrounded by universal forces that delight in our daring venture to live out of what’s best in us and best in all reality.  With that realization, even during what feels like our loneliness moment, we see we are not alone, but with the best company of all—our true self and the forces of nature and the universe that delight in our being true.