How Do We Grow?

If we live out of a false self, growth is equated to an increase in grandiosity, to winning the contest of life and accruing more money, power and prestige in a corrupt world.

If we live out of a true self, growth takes on a different meaning.  Growth means an increase in consciousness and self-awareness, an increase in manifesting and refining our individual gifts.

So how do we grow for real?  We can’t get up in the morning and force growth to happen, but we can invite growth into our lives by providing the conditions for growth to occur.

This invitation is analogous to cultivating a seed in a garden.  As part of nature, we must be a viable seed, we must have enough life-force to grow, and we must plant ourselves in a growth inducing environment.

First, the seed of the true self is viable within all of us—that’s the good news.  The bad news for some is that this seed is buried so deep due trauma experienced during childhood and later years that growth seems impossible, if even considered a choice.

Second, we have to want to grow.  The gift of motivation is part of our temperament enhanced by the strength of our life-force.   With a bold temperament and hardy personal-force, we will be motivated to do whatever it takes to grow.

Third, we must plant ourselves in an environment that offers us opportunities to grow.  We must be willing to move away from family and friends that would stunt our growth and thwart the manifestation of our gifts.  We must dare to enter a wilderness, far from the comforts of convention and find a place that values authenticity and our unique gifts.

Remember, as part of nature, we can’t help but grow.  Nature’s intent is to evolve and we humans, as nature’s crowning jewel, are programmed to do just that—grow!

2 thoughts on “How Do We Grow?

  1. Hi Fred,

    Thank you for this article. It’s funny because I discovered recently Daniel Mackler’s blog, who led me here and also self archeology blog, and since we have a very different background, and took different roads, we reached the same point and even use the same metaphors to talk about the discovering we made.

    Here for example, you are talking about a buried seed and for now many years I use in my therapist practice the metaphor of the seed locked in a box with many padlocks.

    For me, the big challenge is to find a way to find the true self. How to wake up ? I am still not sure how I exactly reached it, I think with a teacher, a lucid witness when I was very young and blow on the small candle whose wick was still shining a little.

    Recently, I watched again the matrix movie, and the Morpheus character says : I don’t offer you happiness, just the truth, do you want it ?

    I think there is a big misunderstanding with the therapy practice, cause many people assume that you will “cure” them (lighten symptoms). But even, when you find the truth within you, you reach a form of joy, an inner peace, it is not what people call actually happiness. When I tell on my website “find the inner peace” I know exactly what I am talking about. But for many people, they come to find me and say “I want inner peace”, and they talk about the idea of inner peace promoted by buddhism, yoga, meditation.

    But it is none of this. I will stop my practice at the end of june, but if I start it again, I think my purpose will be : “Find the truth, it might be ugly and really hurtful, but it is true, do you want it ?”

    I purchased your book right now, I hope I will find more answers in order to go on.

    • Thanks Sophie. Yes — truth is the goal which leads to a real life. Happiness comes and goes … but the inner peace we get from aligning with truth is lasting, comforting and reassuring that at the most profound level, all is well. Thanks for you share.

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