Every child needs perfect parents. If parents are not perfect, meaning these parents carry unresolved trauma from their own childhood, they will hurt their child. Any wound that is unresolved will leak through. This is child abuse.
Sadly, no one had perfect parents. We are all abused children which explains so much, if not all, of the world’s insanity. Collectively, humans are a traumatized species, often hard to see since this is the norm.
The adage “good-enough parents” is a ruse of the conventional. Most adults cannot admit their parents hurt them. As a result, they avoid the painful work of indicting their parents and healing their past. Instead, they say their parents “did the best they could.”
And with little thought, these unprocessed people have children themselves perpetuating the cycle of child abuse. Instead of healing their traumatic past, they pass it on to their own children, the next generation. And then, these imperfect parents cannot admit they have wounded their children—after all, they, like their parents, did the “best they could” and were “good-enough”.
The only cure for this epidemic of child abuse is to be a perfect parent for ourselves. As we indict the imperfections of our parents and grieve the deficits of our childhood, we begin to heal and live out of our inner authority that is true and beautiful.
Every child needs and deserved perfect parents. Since none of us had them, it is paramount to avoid having children, since we will hurt them. Rather our obligation is to heal ourselves and give birth to our beautiful inner child—our true self. This is the only way to break the cycle of imperfect parents by being a perfect parent for ourselves.